The Wild James Comey Seashell Case

How fitting that the federal case against the performative former FBI Director is surrounded by drama and deception. Just like his corrupt stint at the FBI.

Regardless of what one thinks about the Department of Justice’s prosecution of disgraced former FBI Director James Comey over posting a threatening seashell formation in May 2025—gotta admit, this case is pretty wild so far.

And it’s fitting for Comey, who has a flair for the dramatic. From hiding in a set of blue curtains in the White House to try to “avoid” President Trump and producing cheesy videos professing his love of Taylor Swift (among other embarrassments) to using his besties to plant positive news stories about himself to complicit reporters, Comey craves attention just like all good megalomaniacs do; Showtime even turned his 2018 memoir into a mini series, where veteran actor Jeff Daniels played the role of Comey. (Remember when Comey was busted for using the name of 20th Century theologian Reinhold Niebuhr for his anonymous email account?)

So it’s only appropriate that the federal criminal case against him now involves a former mob boss; a disgruntled relative cooperating with the government; and revelations that, contrary to Comey’s story, he and his wife likely made the shell formation rather than “stumbled” upon it during a beach walk. In fact, one of his fiction books—where some character usually represents a far better version of Comey himself—is part of the case, with prosecutors tying parts of the plotline to the threat-by-shell.

Another Comey Fabrication? No Way!

The drama began on May 15, 2025. Comey and his wife, Patrice, were vacationing in North Carolina and decided to go for a stroll along the seashore when, low and behold!, the Comeys just happened to notice a bunch of shells assembled to make “86 47.” Comey took a photo of the formation and posted it on his Instagram account—where all totally normal 65-year-old men play on social media—with the caption, “Cool formation on my beach walk.”

The post, according to new disclosures, prompted an unidentified relative of Patrice to finally cut them off.

Comey, allegedly in response to the relative’s text and growing outrage on social media, deleted the post later that day, professing he meant no harm. But the DOJ nonetheless opened an investigation; last April, a grand jury in North Carolina returned a two-count indictment charging Comey with making threats against the president. He was arrested on April 29, 2026.

Comey had this to say in response:

But Comey’s account of what happened that day always sounded suspicious—largely due to the fact it was coming out of Comey’s mouth. (Keep in mind—all of this went down just a few days before the release of Comey’s latest book, “FDR Drive.” The stunt and resulting hubbub resulted in sweet TV appearances so he could plus his latest.)

A filing by the DOJ this week appears to suggest the Comeys may have made the shell formation after going to a remote area of the shore to do so. “[There] is also reason to doubt his story and therefore his overarching credibility,” prosecutors wrote in an August 18 filing to oppose Comey’s request for a special hearing on the lead FBI investigator. “The shells were located four miles down the beach from the beachfront property where Comey was staying, in an area separated from the ocean by a sand dune. And there is no evidence that anyone else arranged, photographed, or even saw the shells.”

Wait, you mean JIM COMEY LIED ABOUT SOMETHING? Impossible.

Further, evidence collected off the Comeys devices showed that Patrice—a hardcore Democrat and bona fide Trump hater who attended the Women’s March in January 2017 with their daughters to protest the the new president despite the fact her husband was FBI Director at the time—looked up the slang definition for “86” and sent a screenshot of it to her husband.

Two minutes later, Comey made his infamous Instagram post.

Comey’s all-star legal team now is asking U.S. District Court Judge Louise Flanagan, a George W. Bush appointee, to dismiss the case on the basis the indictment represents a selective and vindictive prosecution and a omits a “true threat.” (Those defense motions are here and here.) Defense attorneys also pushed back on any suggestion the Comeys made the formation: “Although Mr. Comey did not know who created the arrangement, Mr. Comey came to understand the phrase ‘86 47’ as a clever way of expressing political opposition to President Trump. Mr. Comey’s description of the shell formation as ‘[c]ool’ communicated his admiration for the way in which an anonymous person criticized President Trump.”

Suuuure.

Bring in the Bull

In an interesting twist, the FBI interviewed Salvatore “Sammy the Bull” Gravano in May seeking his opinion as to whether Comey would have known “86” represented a threat against the president. Gravano was once the underboss of the Gambino mob family; Comey and his now defense attorney Patrick Fitzgerald led the government’s case against John Gambino as prosecutors with the U.S. Attorney’s Office for the Southern District of New York in the 1990s. Gravano turned on the family and became a cooperating witness.

But he had plenty to say about Comey’s potential foreknowledge about the meaning of “86”, which strangely was included in a defense motion. “Mr. Gravano stated his belief that Mr. Comey had to know what the term ‘86’ meant ‘as it related to killing someone,’” Fitzgerald wrote in a July affidavit. “Gravano also stated that he was ‘fairly certain it would be difficult to find the term ‘86’ documented in law enforcement/FBI files because members of organized crime families refrained from using terms such as ‘86’ that were commonly used in day-to-day business in the presence of law enforcement officers.”

Gravano told investigators Comey’s “post was a call for violence against President Trump,” he did not believe the post meant “Mr. Comey would personally kill President Trump.”

Gravano, who left the witness protection program in 1995 then got himself arrested and sent to prison again, is now a podcaster.

With such a cast of characters—Comey’s lawyers also attempted to discredit Patrice’s unidentified relative as being a recent rehab patient—one can only imagine the circus that will be Comey’s October trial in North Carolina.

And the attention-starved former fed wouldn’t want it any other way.